Battle of the Barbeque
by Punzie the Platypus
Summary: God bless you! During every Fourth of July Ferb's celebrated, something goes wrong, which means something will go wrong during this one, like say, a food fight. . . God bless you!


**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Phineas and Ferb. I know I've already done a food fight fic, but I find them highly amusing and fun to write and, hopefully, this shall be fun for you to read!**

It was the Fourth of July, a great holiday in the States. Ferb had experienced said holiday a few times in his life now, and the way the Flynn-Fletcher family celebrated it was different every year. There was the year where they all went camping at Grandpa and Grandma Flynn's mountain cabin and he and Candace had ended up with the worst mosquito bites he had ever seen. There was the one where they all went to a large circus where he and his mom nearly got plowed down by a peanut vendor and Candace had been scared out of her wits by a clown.

So, yes, Ferb Fletcher's Fourth of July celebrations were a bit strange. They never went according to plan, something always went wrong, but, a memory always came out of it. Whether it was a good memory or bad memory, Ferb was not sure, but given his past experiences, Ferb was on the lookout.

Fourth of July came rolling around soon enough. Together, Lawrence and Linda planned a backyard barbeque, and that's all they did. Once it was planned, Phineas, Ferb and Candace all sprang into action. Candace rang up people on her cellphone to tell them about it and helped the boys hang up red, white and blue streamers. Phineas and Ferb went shopping with their parents for all the supplies and together, the two boys set up the backyard.

Big red, white and blue balloons were tied to little marbles to keep them down and they were in groups all over the yard. Picnic tables all had red, white and blue coverings with little flags. Candace had gone all out decorating the tree with streamers. Ferb cleaned the grill and Phineas and Candace set up the buffet. There was blue plates, white sporks and red cups. Along the table was potato salad, macaroni salad, lettuce salad, potato chips, salad dressing, large slices of watermelon Phineas had cut with a clean jigsaw, fruit salad, chilled sodas (and beers for all those legal, of course). On a separate table there was an assortment of condiments for hamburgers, including sliced tomatoes, cheese, lettuce, onion, pickle relish, ketchup, mustard, mayo and bacon.

Ferb had just finished cleaning the grill when Phineas and Candace stood back from their work. They both wiped the back of their hands across their foreheads: Candace was wearing a white summer dress with large red flowers over it and Phineas was wearing a short sleeve white shirt and blue shorts. Ferb himself was wearing a black shirt with an American flag on it and jean shorts.

All three looked at each other and sighed happily.

"Oh, doesn't it look great, boys? And thank you for not pulling some sort of ridiculous stunt on the Fourth of July," Candace smiled as she wrapped an arm around Phineas's shoulders affectionately.

"Well, I don't think you should do something big and extravagant on the Fourth of July. It's a simple holiday that needs to stay simple," Phineas replied. They all stood there for a moment before Phineas squealed, "Oh, I forgot something! Be right back!"

He slipped out from under Candace's arm and into the house. He rushed past Linda, who was putting the finishing touches on the large cake, and said, "Phineas, how does it look out there?"

"Yes, how about the yard?" Lawrence said as he walked into the kitchen. He was wearing a dark blue tee shirt with black pants. Phineas rushed into the closet downstairs and called, "One minute!" as he rummaged through the closet. Linda and Lawrence exchanged curious looks before Phineas's head popped out again. He held up a rather fat circular pack wrapped in plastic wrap.

"Found it!" he said excitedly before rushing out the door.

Linda and Lawrence once again exchanged looks.

Phineas sprinted outside into the fresh air. He made his way to the grill and opened the pack, Candace and Ferb watching. He unfolded it and set it up so that the end of it was in the ground.

Phineas patted his hands together and stood back. Before them was the American flag, set up so that the wind wouldn't make it catch fire from the grill.

Candace smiled. "Nice touch, Phineas."

Her little brother turned to her and said, "Thank you, Candace."

It wasn't long before the guests started arriving. Lawrence and Linda greeted everyone while Phineas and Isabella kept about the food, helping Ferb, who was wearing a tall chef's hat and apron and was grilling hamburgers and hotdogs. Candace and Jeremy were chatting together under the tree with Stacy and Coltrane and Perry was walking around with an Uncle Sam hat. Buford was wearing a bow tie ("Really, Buford?" Baljeet scowled, who was wearing a green tee shirt and black pants. "Shut up nerd, and get me another soda." "Finnneeeee . . .") Soon, Linda and Lawrence went in to get a few more drinks and the adults followed them, not doubt still deep in conversation with them.

Ferb was familiar that the Fourth of July meant that there was going to be an incident of some kind. He kept gazing about uncertainly, spatula in hand, ready to come to the rescue for anyone in need (there was a reason he had a fire extinguisher next to the grill other than for the grill itself).

He gulped and watched Candace and Jeremy by the tree. His hand with the spatula carefully and skillfully flipped a burger as he watched Jeremy aim for the recycling bin but miss. What, what if the soda can suddenly started to reproduce? What, what if someone tripped on it and landed on the buffet? He was thinking so hard that he didn't notice the hamburger he was flipping fly off of the spatula and onto Buford.

Now, Buford normally didn't wear a white shirt, but he was trying (a little, anyway), and was shocked when the hamburger landed on his shirt. He let out a shout of surprise, drawing attention onto himself from everyone else. He glared at Ferb, who went back and forth from watching the hamburgers and hotdogs to Buford. The Flynn-Fletcher brothers must think that it was funny to drop food on him. Now was the time for revenge.

Buford reached out for the first thing he found, which unfortunately for Ferb was potato salad. He sent it flying into the air. Ferb (being, well, Ferb), ducked, and the mayo laden salad hit Phineas.

Isabella, who was standing next to Phineas, clenched her fists and pointed at Buford, "Don't you DARE throw food at Phineas!" and she quickly grabbed a slice of watermelon and lopped it at Buford. It sailed past him and hit Jeremy. The watermelon slopped down his front, making Candace turn red and call to Isabella in turn, "Don't you DARE throw food at Jeremy!" When she started at Isabella, the Fireside Girls jumped in.

The backyard instantly turned into a battle ground. Two sides seemed to form. On the side near the house, Phineas and Django had knocked over the picnic tables near there and used them as forts. Isabella was shouting orders to her troops, who nodded and went into battle. Buford carried around Baljeet so that he could pick up food and throw it. Ferb still stood near the grill, which was against the house, calming flipping hotdogs and sipping from his soda.

On the other side of the yard, Candace was acting as General. She ordered Jeremy and the Incidentals to one end of their own makeshift fort while she, Stacy and Jenny womaned the other end.

Food flew through the air as thick as bullets. Gretchen was nearly knocked out by a glop of fruit salad: Macaroni rained over the teen side. Perry walked calmly through the middle where if he was close to the ground (which he was, platypuses don't do much, like grow taller than they normally should), he wouldn't get hit. He walked on, crunching on fallen potato chips.

It wasn't long before the adults heard the commotion and followed Linda and Lawrence into the backyard. Candace, Phineas and Ferb's parents opened the doors slightly to see Isabella being covered in ketchup by Stacy, who had managed to crawl over to the other side for hands-on combat.

It didn't take long for Linda's face to turn red and scream, "STOP RIGHT NOW!"

The amount of food sailing through the air stopped immediately. Linda's angry eyes darted about as she pointed to a spot right in front of her and yelled, "ALL OF YOU COME HERE THIS INSTANT!"

All the kids quickly gathered as the teens climbed over their picnic table barriers and over to the designated spot. Candace and Jeremy had both been pelted with pickle relish and Stacy and Coltrane had mayo all over them. Phineas was pretty much red, from embarrassment, his hair and ketchup. Isabella was also covered with ketchup and onions reigned supreme in her black hair. All the Fireside Girls looked like a salad bar and the rest of them looked like a buffet gone wrong.

Linda looked at all their faces furiously and asked, "WHO started it!"

All their faces turned to Ferb, who was holding a large platter of hamburgers and hotdogs. He looked at them all quite calmly and said in his quiet British voice, "Food's done."

**Oh, Ferb! *Smacks face while shaking head, smiling* I love British voices so much it's INSANE. And yeah, me and my awkweird endings that somehow make sense (I mean for them to be awkward). I hope y'all liked it and please, leave a review!**


End file.
